Last Thursday, I got off the train at Penn Station and went straight to the Hospital for Special Surgery. For the past month or so, I have been feeling a mysterious pain in my right leg, which I could no longer ignore. Roughly 24 hours after I arrived in New York, I was having an MRI. Days later, I got the call from my doctor.
I can't run anymore. Not now, not ever, or so I'm told. Years of high-dose steroids and low vitamin D during a period of crucial bone-building took its toll. For anyone who ever doubted the power of steroids to deliver life-saving treatment and life-altering side effects, let my situation be exhibit A. I have known for years my bones were weak, but never anticipated that at the age of 25, I'd already be forced to make adjustments to my activity and to my expectations. The impact of this news really hit me yesterday, as anyone in close proximity or phone contact with me could tell you. But as Natalie reminded me, the sun rises every day. Things are starting to look a little less dim.
I will not be marking this 10 year anniversary with a 10k. However, I have every intention of finding a suitable alternative to mark the occasion, even if it takes longer to reach my goal. Some of you have had the pleasure of hearing about the one summer that I was in the most advanced swim group at Camp Ramah. For four weeks, I looked out on the commanding view from the dock in the deepest water and sauntered around the lake like I owned the place, superior to the masses of others treading in shallower water. Nevermind that I was demoted several groups the next summer. I always knew that was a mistake, some cruel misunderstanding or test of character. It has been years since I've ventured voluntarily into a pool for anything more than lazing in an inner tube with a book, but now I intend to recapture my former glory as a swimmer.
This new chapter will be different and potentially more difficult. Soon I'll emerge from this current fog. When I do, I'm looking forward to the challenge.
So I decided to pass this song along. It is not to tell you not to cry, you can (and should) do that to your heart's desire. It is sometimes just nice to hear Bob Marley tell you that, "every little thing, will be alright."
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64QkD5pBWWE&feature=related
I love you!
Natalie
"In this great future, you can forget your past
p.s. I don't know how the second " got cut off... OOPS! Don't judge me! hehehehehe. LOOOOOOOOVE you!
ReplyDeletep.s. I like the title to your post.
ReplyDeleteI have a follow-up song, also by the great Rasta man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LanCLS_hIo4
:)
as always, you inspire me.
ReplyDeleteas future neighbors, we might need to dust off our goggles. i'll take your summer camp swimming titles and raise you some middle school competitive year round swimming. it was the 1996 summer olympics, and jenny thompson and tom dolan reigned supreme - the instigators of my 3 year swimming interest 1996-1999. let's find our inner tom dolan's this upcoming third year.
love, kate
PS: LAST TEST TOMORROW!
love you both so much! i'm hopeful (and 99.3% positive) that my crazy person/basket case days...at least as far as this thing goes...are over.
ReplyDeletewatch out, tim dolan!
I raise the anti once again.. I used to be a life guard; even though I spent 98% of the time sitting, 1% of the time raking the beach, .5% getting leaches off the children, and .5% saving people... but whose keeping track anyways?! I am excited to get a hot swimmer body, hopefully without the huge trapezius muscle. yeaaaaa!!!!
ReplyDeleteGet yourself a funky swim cap and jump in! You can do it!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.swimoutlet.com/product_p/15110.htm
-Meg B
love that cap! hmm...i just may have to invest...
ReplyDelete